Choosing the Meaning in Our Perceptions: Understanding and Managing Feelings
Happy. Bored. Numb. Excited. Mad. Funny. Confused. Playful. Disappointed. Rejected. Loved. Weary. Pumped. Content. Alone. Concerned. Hopeful. Ashamed. Powerful. Afraid.
Feelings. They ebb and flow, and can change in a heartbeat. They are not the truth, but they seem to wield the power of truth, even when they are contradictory. In actuality, feelings are emotional responses to what we dwell upon. We feed them. And most of the time, we let them drive our behavior like mindless fools, not realizing we’ve given away our own power to enjoy the moments for what they are. We make a meaning and attribute a motive to what we think we see, and that becomes the “perception” that fuels our feelings. Those feelings become the motivation and direction of our responses.
The Dual Spectrum of Emotions
Truth is, at every given moment we have the capacity to challenge our perception to conclude with a “feeling” that either influences us toward isolation or connection. We can also carry both ends of the spectrum of feelings, and choose to live our life well no matter what those ends look like. In other words, we have the capacity to carry both grief and joy, and choose which of those we want to most heavily influence our current behavior. The more intentional we are about evaluating our perceptions, the more potential we have to walk in truth and authenticity.
The Impact of Perception on Feelings
You don’t deny the bad; it’s still there, you can’t rid your life of it. But I’d say to be curious about what else is “there” as well. Maybe there is another way to perceive the situation? Or, it means something different than you thought? Maybe it’s not about you, but about them. You get to choose the meaning you make of your perceptions. It will fuel the feelings you feel loudest, and you’ll act on those feelings as if they are the truth.
Embracing Curiosity and Wisdom
We can train ourselves to perceive more critically, which fortifies our capacity to trust our own gut. By that, I mean to process what we see thoughtfully and with curiosity to avoid getting trapped in nonsensical loops based on habitual, shallow responses.
