When Faith Is Used Against You: Understanding Spiritual Bypassing in Abusive Relationships
If you have found your way to this page, there is a good chance you are carrying something that is very difficult to name — not just because it is painful, but because the very tools you would normally use to process pain have been turned against you.
Your faith. Your theology. The language of love and sacrifice and forgiveness and grace.
What I want to talk about today is one of the most insidious dynamics I encounter in my work with women in destructive relationships — and one of the least talked about in both clinical and church settings. It is called spiritual bypassing, and if you have been living inside it, you may not yet have the language for what has been happening to you. I want to give you that language today.
Because naming something is the beginning of not being controlled by it anymore.
What Is Coercive Control? What Women in Difficult Marriages Need to Know
You’ve been told it’s a communication problem. You’ve been told to pray harder, try harder, extend more grace. But something inside you has known for a long time that this is something else. You’re right.
Why You Keep Scrolling — And What You’re Actually Hungry For
Something brought you here today. Maybe it was the title. Maybe it was a quiet pull you couldn’t quite name. But I want you to notice that something in you responded — and I don’t think that was an accident. That small movement toward something real? That’s the part of you that already knows something needs to change. And she’s been trying to get your attention for a while now.
Here’s what I keep seeing — not just culturally, but in the women who come to me after years of feeling like they’ve lost the thread of themselves. There’s this exhaustion underneath everything. And when you dig into it, what you find is this: they’ve been outsourcing their interior life for so long that they don’t know how to come home to themselves anymore.
I think a lot of us are there. Even if we wouldn’t say it that way.
So here’s the question I want to leave at the beginning of this piece, before we go anywhere else:
How much longer are you willing to stay lost?
I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore: Three Steps to Begin Healing After Emotional Abuse
If you’ve ever said, “I don’t know who I am anymore,” or wondered how to feel normal again after surviving chaos, confusion, and loss in your relationships, this post is for you. Discover three powerful steps to reclaim your identity, protect your soul, and start healing—whether the relationship improves or not.
Broken Identity: Trauma as an Attachment Wound
Trauma isn’t just a wound—it’s a sneaky saboteur of our deepest connections. Dive into how attachment injuries shape our lives and discover the gutsy path to healing through love and vulnerability.
The Art of Soul-Care: Embracing Self-Care and Vibrant Authenticity
When you dismiss your needs, mute your longings, or diminish your gifts, you erode the very foundation of your being. This isn’t about fleeting exhaustion—it’s about a soul losing its bearings. Without self-care, your love for others becomes a fragile thread, stretched to breaking, unable to hold the weight of authenticity.
The Demand of Forgiveness
Forgiveness isn’t their redemption—it’s yours. Explore why demanded forgiveness fails and how real change, not grace, heals broken bonds.
Thoughts about Resilience
Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back—it’s about creatively transforming challenges into something meaningful. True resilience requires engaging with what you have, thinking outside the box, and building something valuable from life’s setbacks. Whether in relationships, personal growth, or life transitions, resilience empowers you to move forward with intention. Discover how to cultivate resilience in a way that brings purpose and possibility to your journey.
Do You Have Any Red Flags?
This title is a bit of a trick question. We’re taught to be wary of others, which assumes our “safety” depends on our ability to correctly discern others’ meaning and motives. That is part of the equation, yes. But, it sets us up to live in suspicion and fear.
Healing from Crazy-Making
If you’ve found your way here, it’s likely that you’re feeling discouraged, angry, or just plain exhausted. Maybe you’re tired of being used or walked over. Perhaps you’re feeling lonely, scared, or unsure of your own instincts. You might even be questioning your sanity. Whether you’re desperately flailing or simply in need of better grounding, you’re not alone.