Why Would I Want Them Back? Wrestling With Reconciliation After Deep Hurt

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why would I even want them back?” — you’re not alone, and you’re not wrong to ask it. This is one of the most common questions I hear, in some version, from almost everyone I work with who’s facing the possibility of reconciliation after real harm. The specifics vary. The question underneath doesn’t: What’s actually the point of staying open to someone who hurt me this deeply?