Disorganized Attachment – When Love Feels Both Safe & Scary

For some, love feels like both a haven and a storm, comforting yet terrifying. If your past was marked by trauma, neglect, or inconsistent caregiving, you might find yourself in a constant emotional tug-of-war.
[Part 4 of a series on Attachment]

Avoidant Attachment – Keeping Love at a Distance

Avoidant attachment isn’t a conscious choice, but a protective response that often develops in childhood when vulnerability felt unsafe.
[Part 3 of a series on Attachment]

Thoughts about Resilience

Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back—it’s about creatively transforming challenges into something meaningful. True resilience requires engaging with what you have, thinking outside the box, and building something valuable from life’s setbacks. Whether in relationships, personal growth, or life transitions, resilience empowers you to move forward with intention. Discover how to cultivate resilience in a way that brings purpose and possibility to your journey.

Anxious Attachment – Seeking Love but Fearing Loss

Anxious attachment isn’t a flaw or something “wrong” with you, it’s a pattern that likely developed early in life, shaped by experiences where love and emotional security felt uncertain.
[Part 2 of a series on Attachment]

What’s Your Type?

Why does connection feel so difficult, confusing, and exhausting? A look at attachment styles can help inspire better approaches and better boundaries that could lead to better relationships.
[Part 1 of a series on Attachment]

Recovering Your Identity After Escaping Codependency and Abuse

We cannot get through life unscathed by trauma. Yet, we often let trauma dominate our lives through denial, avoidance, fear, or naivete. Undealt with, trauma isolates us and leads to self-protection, manifesting as codependence or narcissism. Both extremes involve hiding oneself to manage the world around them. As natural nurturers, most women tend to lean toward codependency.

Healing and Wholeness after Escaping Abuse

You cannot live (or love) well if you are not well. Your journey to healing begins with finding your own footing to think, speak, act, and live authentically no matter who agrees.

Narcissistic Victim Syndrome: Recovery

In this part of our series on Narcissistic Victim Syndrome, we focus on recovery. Standard, run-of-the-mill approaches are potentially dangerous for couples stuck in power and control cycles. As coaches and counselors, we must protect the victim from further harm and work to potentially bring them to a place of collaboration. The dominating partner must become connection-oriented before collaboration can occur. Which means that couples work is not the first step.

What is your bias?

Another nuance impacting attachment is confirmation bias. This might seem a bit random in the context of trauma, but there is a strong correlation between confirmation bias and resistance to change, thus resistance to healing. What we’ve deeply learned, both intrinsically and extrinsically, determines what we seek, expect, and perceive. When there is a gap in our understanding, we fill it in with our own narrative based upon previous learning. Most often we fill in those blanks with negativity and suspicion. Trauma teaches us what to watch for, what to expect, and how to perceive it.

Attachment has a Role

There is a curious power to attachment theory and the role it plays in complicating trauma. I believe attachment issues underlie every psychological disorder and diagnosis. In my intro above, I started to write “…the role of attachment on psychological health.” But, it goes much deeper than that. I think it has a role is every aspect of our health – biological, psychological, sociological, spiritual, and relational.