Two Red Flags to Watch for in New Relationships

Starting a new relationship is thrilling, but it’s also a time to stay sharp. Two often-overlooked red flags—inconsistent communication and inconsistent effort—can signal deeper issues like emotional unavailability or low interest. Spotting these early, like hot-and-cold texting or frequent cancellations, helps you protect your peace and build a relationship rooted in clarity and respect, not confusion.

Protecting Yourself from Manipulative Behavior

If you’ve ever felt guilty, confused, or uneasy after a conversation, you might be dealing with manipulation. In this video, Dr. Christine breaks down how to spot manipulative behaviors, recognize them in relationships, and protect yourself with 3 practical strategies you can use today. Take back your power and build healthier connections!

Finding Comfort After Betrayal and Rejection

Betrayal and rejection cut deep, but healing is possible. By pouring your heart out to God and embracing His truth, you can find comfort, freedom, and restoration. Discover practical, psychologically sound ways to navigate the pain and reclaim your worth in this heartfelt blog.

Cognitive Distortions: How Your Thoughts Might Be Sabotaging Your Relationships

Are your thoughts secretly undermining your relationships? Cognitive distortions—those sneaky, irrational mental habits—could be sparking conflict and distance in your closest bonds. From jumping to conclusions to assuming the worst, discover how to spot these patterns and break free with practical steps and expert guidance.

What is your bias?

Another nuance impacting attachment is confirmation bias. This might seem a bit random in the context of trauma, but there is a strong correlation between confirmation bias and resistance to change, thus resistance to healing. What we’ve deeply learned, both intrinsically and extrinsically, determines what we seek, expect, and perceive. When there is a gap in our understanding, we fill it in with our own narrative based upon previous learning. Most often we fill in those blanks with negativity and suspicion. Trauma teaches us what to watch for, what to expect, and how to perceive it.

Attachment has a Role

There is a curious power to attachment theory and the role it plays in complicating trauma. I believe attachment issues underlie every psychological disorder and diagnosis. In my intro above, I started to write “…the role of attachment on psychological health.” But, it goes much deeper than that. I think it has a role is every aspect of our health – biological, psychological, sociological, spiritual, and relational.

Is This Change For Real?

When things have gotten dire enough to seek help, it’s often hard to know what to count on from your spouse regarding the future of your relationship. You desperately want to plant your feet into something solid and reliable.  Therefore, it makes complete sense that you’d want to know if the changes being made are “real.” So, how can you tell?

Rightfully Angry

For both men and women, anger is a key building block in their wall of self-protection. It supports defense mechanisms and fuels the façades we wear. Anger can make it very difficult to be authentic and connect to your spouse. The only connection that can happen is to whatever is in front of your shield of self-protection, which is often a very shallow, non-vulnerable self. In being self-protective, you disable the very thing your heart craves: authentic connection.

Healing Together

It is common for couples to remain in a relationship even when emotional abuse has been part of the picture. Even when the pressure of staying together is removed, she may still choose to stay for multiple layers of valid reasons. We need to create a road map to help them move toward healing together or, at least, help her detach from the abuse with good boundaries, strong character, and a safety plan to stay well.

Letting Go of Rejection

When fighting loneliness post-divorce, it can be so easy to be consumed by the sense of rejection from previous in-laws and friends. The feeling of being left out or abandoned by those who once were close can be overwhelming and debilitating.