His New Nickname

We get stuck in loops trying to figure out why our spouse (or any other significant other) does what they do to us. It’s as if we understood the intent, it could excuse the pain or angst we feel toward them. Or, we turn it all inward and ask ourselves, “What’s wrong with ME?”

Maybe if we could figure out why he does what he does, we could also figure out how to better avoid it. Or fix it. Or be able to get him to change because we could explain it and connect all the dots to make sense for him why it would be so easy to change and do differently.

Staying Intentional When Your Spouse Walks Out

I think what I hear between the lines is the struggle between what you “should” do based on your Christian background and what your gut is telling you to do to protect yourself from being further hurt and move on with your life.

Chemistry is Not Connection

We enter relationships attracted by something—a look, a personality, a desire, an intrigue—without the skills to maturely relate. And without those skills and perspective, the chemistry easily explodes into chaos, confusion, and loneliness.

Denying the Reality of Spiritual Abuse

We have a great propensity to deny what we don’t want to see. It’s often hard to imagine anyone being as cruel as the spouse you hear about in your clients’ experiences. When this person is someone you also know from your community or church, the denial can be fierce.

The False Safety of a Marriage Idol

God loves you too much to let you go through the rest of your life putting your hope in a marriage idol, even if that idol was designed to be a powerful reflection, and experience, of Him.

Keep Walking

I talk a lot about personal responsibility, about how there is so much you can do to change where you are in life, and the extent of peace and joy you choose.

However, it is also true that you may be walking it well, your eyes on God, and your heart fully committed to Him, doing everything you know to eliminate any sin, unforgiveness, disrespect, and bitterness out of your own heart… and yet still remain in a hostile, heartbreaking place.

Intentionally Standing

I don’t feel any different than you. Not more courageous. Not any wiser. Certainly not more intelligent. Just a normal girl trying to survive what life throws at her. Here are some thoughts I wrote to help stay focused.

Why Would I?

I think what I hear between the lines is the struggle between what you “should” do based on your Christian background and values, and what your gut is telling you to do to protect yourself from being hurt by her further and move on with your life.