Disorganized Attachment – When Love Feels Both Safe & Scary

For some, love feels like both a haven and a storm, comforting yet terrifying. If your past was marked by trauma, neglect, or inconsistent caregiving, you might find yourself in a constant emotional tug-of-war.
[Part 4 of a series on Attachment]

Avoidant Attachment – Keeping Love at a Distance

Avoidant attachment isn’t a conscious choice, but a protective response that often develops in childhood when vulnerability felt unsafe.
[Part 3 of a series on Attachment]

What Happens After Separation?

After separating from domestic abuse, it is normal to feel and array of conflicting, emotions. Each stage of healing comes with its own challenges and experiences. Read more for examples of emotions you may encounter.

Anxious Attachment – Seeking Love but Fearing Loss

Anxious attachment isn’t a flaw or something “wrong” with you, it’s a pattern that likely developed early in life, shaped by experiences where love and emotional security felt uncertain.
[Part 2 of a series on Attachment]

Are You Giving Permanence to Something That Can Change?

Want to feel a shift in your energy? These questions inspire action rather than frustration. They shift focus from problems to possibilities and create a sense of control over the future.

What’s Your Type?

Why does connection feel so difficult, confusing, and exhausting? A look at attachment styles can help inspire better approaches and better boundaries that could lead to better relationships.
[Part 1 of a series on Attachment]

Recovering Your Identity After Escaping Codependency and Abuse

We cannot get through life unscathed by trauma. Yet, we often let trauma dominate our lives through denial, avoidance, fear, or naivete. Undealt with, trauma isolates us and leads to self-protection, manifesting as codependence or narcissism. Both extremes involve hiding oneself to manage the world around them. As natural nurturers, most women tend to lean toward codependency.

Hostage to The Misplaced Responsibility

I’m going to make a statement that might initially cause a strong reaction in you, but please hear me out. Ultimately, my goal is to find that precious, sacred, powerful point at which we become intentional about living, even in the midst of a destructive, stifling world. It is at that point where we have the God-given agency to make a choice about our next step, and about who we are and how we are showing up. The hardest question to answer is: How?

What is your bias?

Another nuance impacting attachment is confirmation bias. This might seem a bit random in the context of trauma, but there is a strong correlation between confirmation bias and resistance to change, thus resistance to healing. What we’ve deeply learned, both intrinsically and extrinsically, determines what we seek, expect, and perceive. When there is a gap in our understanding, we fill it in with our own narrative based upon previous learning. Most often we fill in those blanks with negativity and suspicion. Trauma teaches us what to watch for, what to expect, and how to perceive it.

Attachment has a Role

There is a curious power to attachment theory and the role it plays in complicating trauma. I believe attachment issues underlie every psychological disorder and diagnosis. In my intro above, I started to write “…the role of attachment on psychological health.” But, it goes much deeper than that. I think it has a role is every aspect of our health – biological, psychological, sociological, spiritual, and relational.